Are you looking to control or humiliate your man and gain endless obedience from him? Do you want to take complete ownership of his cock as the Keyholder and get the power to dominate his every orgasm? What is the secret to a healthy yet infinitely kinky relationship between the chastity slave and the Keyholder?
If you’ve ever tried some light bondage and are thinking about new ways in which your male could serve you, chastity play could be the next step. As a Mistress and a chastity Keyholder, you can lock him up and put away the key. You'll be the one who decides what to do with his cock and balls along with the rest of his body and his sexual desires. And as a male slave, you’ll be desperate for her dominance and will have to satisfy her every whim. But what are some crucial things to keep in mind as the Keyholder and the chastity slave? And is there more to this type of play than just brutal domination?
This kinky guide will cover every BDSM chastity-related fetish from light bondage, extreme painplay, and orgasm denial to merciless femdom and financial domination. Sounds good? Keep reading to find out all about “locking the cock” and spice up your BDSM adventures with chastity play (or vice versa)!
Dominant & Submissive (DS) — Femdom
So what is the purpose of a chastity relationship? Well, chastity cages and male chastity belts are ultimately about power play. They are used to emphasize the dominant and submissive roles.
The Roles Explained
In essence, those devices are used on the submissive while the dominant, aka the Keyholder, is the one who decides the rules. This type of power dynamic can result in sexual pleasure for the dominant, submissive, or both sides, depending on what you plan to accomplish.
However, for successful chastity play, both roles will have to establish trust and set some clear boundaries. Keep in mind that the male or the sub is essentially offering up his obedience as a gift. It’s something that shouldn’t be exploited. You’ll need to discuss your goals, fantasies, and limits.
Additionally, the Keyholder has to consider their servant’s emotions and boundaries. On the other hand, the dominant must express her own desires and limitations. And above all, safety is vital in the dominant/submissive chastity relationship. One thing that makes chastity play unique in the world of BDSM is the fact that the dominant is always responsible for their slave’s safety. The dominant is always named the Keyholder. She holds the key to the chastity device (and hopefully a spare!). That means the servant should fully trust his Mistress.
If you’re interested in submissive play, but don’t currently have a dominant partner, then you aren’t completely out of luck. We stock two products specifically designed to help you enjoy your fetish without needing to ask passing strangers if they’re into the same stuff as you.
The Cellmate chastity device is a fully equipped chastity cage that connects to the QIUI app. This app lets you pair up with other BDSM enthusiasts around the world and hand over control to them. Similarly, the Key Pod storage device is a small container for your cage that also connects to the app, allowing you to turn any cage into a worldwide submission toy.
Both also come with timer features, that let you explore submission without needing another person. Great for a beginner looking to get more comfortable with these fetishes before bringing in someone else.
In most cases, it takes a while to adjust to the chastity relationship. Both the slave and the Mistress will need to communicate their responsibilities. As evident, a dominant and submissive relationship goes much deeper than simply locking up your manwhore’s cock and defiling his asshole.
If done correctly, chastity play can take your intimacy to a whole new level. You will need to consider the most private aspects of your relationship. Plus, chastity play requires constant learning, understanding, and communication.
How to Get Off
So how can the dominant and the submissive take pleasure from chastity play? Obviously, punishment is the first thing to come to mind for many people. The male will not be able to get access to his penis. Sex, masturbation, as well as daily life, could become difficult for him. The submissive can get off on exactly that — the idea of being a sissy chastity slave. On the other hand, the dominant can get aroused by being in complete control over the slave’s manhood.
The most common kink in chastity play is to come to some form of arrangement between the male and the Keyholder. For example, you could free your man in exchange for a half-hour asshole or pussy worshipping session. You can also agree on how long your man will wear the device, what else he would need to do in exchange, and what you could do for him. You could keep him locked up for days without giving him any release. Then, you could free him and order him to jerk off without ever even touching you.
On the other hand, we’ve also mentioned that chastity play can be useful for improving a partner’s self-control. That way, the dominant/submissive relationship can be less extreme. Even if you’re not into BDSM, you could use chastity cages or belts to prolong sexual release.
Sadism and Masochism (SM) — Painplay
Sadism and masochism are a major part of male chastity play. However, before you try it, it’s always crucial to be extra careful. Like we’ve mentioned above, you’ll have to outline the boundaries of your relationship and make safety your top priority.
What’s more, S&M chastity play doesn’t always have to be hardcore. If you’re aroused by it, spanking or whipping may be good enough for you. Of course, if you are trying chastity play, the chances are that the Keyholder will be the one inflicting the pain. Painplay can be as simple as keeping your man’s dick and balls locked up for longer than he can handle, to the point of torturing him.
In other cases, the Keyholder can fully dominate the male, both physically and mentally. The possibilities here are truly endless!
Chastity Painplay Explained
One of the best approaches is to set some chastity rules. Then, punish your partner if he breaks them. For instance, he might sneak in a couple of strokes while you free his penis for cleaning. If guilty, you could choose how to discipline him.
As the Goddess or the Keyholder, you can incorporate various S&M fetishes and tools. Try leashes, whips, collars, spreaders, gimp suits, ball-gags, wax, hogties, hoods, etc. What’s more, your words could also be your greatest weapon if your man gets off through verbal abuse. Insulting his “pathetic and useless little cock” or using various swear words could be an excellent way to stimulate his masochistic desires. If you tease him while locked up, he could wriggle in pain, unable to get an erection. That alone could be exhausting, and he may never even think about being disobedient again.
What’s more, one of the most popular chastity play kinks is cock and ball torture. If approached carefully, it could be a hot fetish for both sides. The Keyholder could get tons of pleasure from freeing her property, only to torture it right afterward.
However, it’s essential only to practice it safely and for short periods. This type of painplay is also highly arousing to chastity subs that experience sexual pleasure from pain. Straps, ropes, and belts can exert a special form of pressure on the male’s freed genitalia. There are many ways to tease and torture it, ranging from tugging, squeezing, and even other more extreme methods. Again, if you’re trying this one, take special care to avoid any health concerns.
Financial Domination (Findom)
Male chastity fits perfectly into findom, also known as financial domination. The Keyholder gets to make the majority of the financial decisions in a relationship. Ultimately, she gains control over the slave’s finances without offering anything in return. There are several ways of enacting this fetish during chastity play.
For instance, the Keyholder can keep her man locked up while spending his finances on expensive gifts and sexy lingerie. Then, the woman can show off her newly acquired items to the slave without freeing him. She can force the slave to watch in humiliation with no sign of physical and sexual contact. It’s a rather simple fetish that is triggered on a mental level. However, findom is not as common as some of the kinks that we’ve discussed previously.
Is It All About the Money?
It’s imperative to note that this fetish is not intended to exploit the male sub unethically. Findom is actually a type of power play. In it, the sub receives psychological pleasure through financial humiliation and not through sexual acts. The chastity slave will relinquish control over his financial assets. Then, his lack of control will give him satisfaction.
In this fetish, the sub is sometimes referred to as the “human ATM,” “paypig,” or “cash pig,” while the female is called the “findomme,” “money mistress,” or “cash master.” It may be a sensitive subject to outline exactly why spending money on women can be sexualized. However, in the context of chastity, the male “money slave” takes pleasure in findom due to his lack of control and his service to the Keyholder.
As for the Mistress, she will also take pleasure in humiliating her slave through financial domination. She can tease and humiliate him by flaunting her newly acquired items in front of him without releasing his cock. She can also purchase new chastity devices with the slave’s money and humiliate him verbally, directly insulting his locked up manhood.
If you’re considering findom, it’s vital to establish some financial boundaries beforehand. For instance, you should only practice it with the money you can afford to spend. As a rule, Keyholders should not take advantage of their partners through findom. Therefore, it may be best to practice it only with a trusted partner.
Nevertheless, this type of psychological and financial dominance could work incredibly well when combined with chastity play. Of course, you may modify the rules a bit and mix the fetish with other forms of chastity play.
Try BDSM in Your Own Chastity Relationship!
You can approach chastity play from several different angles, and that’s why it is so interesting to BDSM lovers. The slave/Keyholder relationship is incredibly versatile, and it’s a huge turn-on for both sides! There are many other things you can try as a couple during chastity play, but we’ve listed the hottest and nastiest kinks that you should definitely start with. Hopefully, our tips and guidelines have inspired you to get a hold of some chastity devices and try this unique, kink-filled lifestyle.
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