How to Treat Your Mistress Keyholder

Read our guide and tips for new male chastity practitioners about how to make their keyholder happy.

Worshiping Your Keyholding Goddess — How to Do It Right

Your keyholder is a higher being who holds the key to your spiritual growth and happiness. There is so much you can do for her, and her kindness will overflow onto you. This article will show you how to treat your woman right during your chastity play and servitude.

What to Call Her

The way you address your keyholder can be a powerful and expressive sign of your devotion. A single word can show how much you cherish her, and she will recognize the desire behind your words. She is the mistress of your happiness, and deserves your total servitude. Find the right title for her — an epithet worthy of her majesty. Let your words be your surrender to her power.

Your keyholder might have a common name in her everyday life, but you should call her differently while you’re serving her. Remember, you are both reinventing yourselves, and your mistress might want to take on a new name for her role as your chastity keyholder. See if she would like to have an alias that would be better suited for her dominance over you. If she chooses a new moniker when she is your mistress, don’t disrespect her by calling her anything else.

The titles you honor her with should relate to the way she rules over you. Is she your highest authority? Then try calling her something respectful, such as ‘mistress’ and ‘ma’am.’ If she is regal, call her ‘my queen,’ ‘my majesty,’ ‘your highness,’ or ‘your excellence.’ Perhaps you are in need of redemption? Then, she is your savior. Call her “my goddess” like she truly is.

Flatter Her

Don’t be afraid to use adjectives and even be creative. She is perfect for you, so call her ‘my perfection.’ Being your mistress might not be enough, so address her with ‘my breathtaking mistress,’ for example. Don’t pick compliments randomly — she will see through these vapid attempts. Your words need to make her feel special.

If she has green eyes, call her the emerald-eyed goddess; if she is blonde, maybe she is ‘your excellence as bright as the dawn.’ Show her you are always aware of her kindness, intelligence, and beauty.

Address her in the manner she specifies. And if you utter a new sign of your servitude, be attentive to her reactions. Repeat the ones she likes, and forget the ones she doesn’t. Simply put, discover what makes her happy and develop that. Also, be ready to change. She can be a righteous chastity goddess in the morning and a soft lamb in the evening. Listen and respond to her needs.

Serving Around the House

Take on the mantle of her butler, her servant, her slave. Has she been wasting her sensual talents by doing chores? Not anymore. You’ll have so much sexual energy which you can channel into something beneficial for your mistress to thank her for her keyholding.

Spare her those menial burdens and show her that you are willing to do whatever task she demands. She deserves better than to play the housewife. You will be the housewife. She can rest, enjoy herself, and contemplate whether you are deserving of any rewards.

To-Do List

Show her through your labors what you are ready to do for her. There is no chore, great or small, that you should refuse. The furniture or a heavy load needs moving? Do it even when your muscles are sore. Clean sewage drains and toilets with a smile. Regularly tend to those little tedious, mundane tasks, like washing the dishes, dusting, and vacuuming.

Cook her favorite meals every day of the week. Do your chores while she is relaxing in a bubble bath with a plate of cinnamon cookies you baked for her. Or perhaps she likes watching you perform? Maybe you can serve her as her maid or butler in a fitting uniform!

Do It for Her

Be a darling housewife and spoil your partner. Bring her coffee and breakfast in bed when she wakes up. Make her a bubble bath after a stressful day at work. Offer her foot massages and back rubs. In one word — pamper her.

You are not doing these tasks just for spectacle. Fulfill her orders devotedly and meticulously. Don’t vacuum just the middle of the room — be thorough. Move furniture, be systematic and make the floor spotless. Do things according to her liking and instructions.

Don’t boast about your work — she doesn’t even have to notice it. You have disposed of the garbage and cleaned the windows? Good! That was expected of you. The results of your work are not your accomplishments. You are doing this for her delight, not her gratitude. Though, if she asks whether you have done what she asked, then you respond with the only acceptable answer: Yes, mistress.

Just the Way She Likes It

Perhaps your mistress has concrete expectations of how you should treat her laundry. Perhaps there is a unique manner in which she likes her food arranged on her plate. Respect her wishes even if you know “a more practical way.” Take her desires into consideration for everything you do, and be mindful. The chores you perform are not mechanical tasks — they are steps to the selfless satisfaction of your madam.

While dusting or folding laundry, you can use this productive time to think of new ways you could improve and be even more helpful to her. Try to anticipate her needs. She shouldn’t bother with every little detail — she has better things to do. When you notice her dishes are piling up, don’t wait for her to give orders. Make them sparkling clean on your initiative.

If you underperform, don’t respect her whims, or show signs of disobedience, then a form of punishment is in order. Did you stack her dishes in the wrong order? Do it again. Have you been slacking off? She could spank you, or worse, deprive you of her attention. Her dinner is not ready when she gets home? In that case, she might not use the chastity cage key that night.

Gifts for Your Goddess

In ancient times, worshipers would leave gifts on altars at the feet of their goddesses. Your keyholder is your goddess, and she deserves gifts. Shower her with tokens of your adoration, big and small. Much like the goddesses of the past, your keyholder’s blessings might be bountiful.

The presents you offer need to be thoughtful. You might think that a new Rolex is the most coveted prize, but your mistress can have other proclivities. Don’t buy her stuff you prefer — discover her heart’s desire. She might be straightforward and tell you openly what she wants.

However, try to invest time and be observant. Try to read subtle hints: what makes her smile, what she mentions fondly, what are the things she hates, etc. Then surprise her and make her day. Don’t expect to give her the perfect present on your first try, but be ready to learn and improve. The gift, no matter how expensive, is trash if she can’t enjoy it and appreciate it.

Also, don’t splurge your budget on a single flashy gift. There’s no point in exciting her once and then leaving her dry for longer periods. Make your mistress accustomed to your signs of appreciation. Give her presents regularly, and don’t be monotonous. One day, bring her her favorite flowers, then mix it up with an elegant bracelet deserving of her beauty.

The Devil Is in the Details

Be open to her interests. If your partner likes flowers, buy her bouquets. Discover her tastes in sweets and bring her chocolates, confectionary treats, and mouth-watering cakes. Give your queen tasteful jewelry. Find earrings with a design she is into, maybe a necklace with a pattern of her choosing, and a locket with a symbol that’s dear to her.

Buy her lingerie that makes her feel sexy, special, and like royalty. Does she like lace? If her favorite color is red, then look for fiery vermilion panties. See if she wants to feel awe-inspiring, such as with power-black stockings and suspenders.

Don’t forget to surprise her! Leave her presents on her pillow or in unexpected places. You don’t have to be there when she finds them, though you will discover whether you made the right choice easily enough.

Special Something — Sex Toys

Don’t be shy about buying her sex toys. You are wearing a chastity device, but your keyholder deserves all the sensual pleasures of the world. Buy her toys that she can use by herself or toys you can use to stimulate her into an orgasmic shiver.

It’s vital to understand that you are not buying yourself favors from your mistress. You are not participating in a transaction, meaning an avalanche of glitzy stuff won’t equal your daily release. All your gifts should show that you are listening to her, that you are constantly thinking of her, and that you are willing to invest in her happiness.

You don’t matter, so be selfless. Your keyholder might be sitting on a mountain of treasures you have given, but when she decides to use her key depends entirely on her grace and whims.

Extreme Servitude

A Consensual Game

Being a gift bearer and a housewife to your chastity domme might not be enough. You are giving full control and your ego to your partner, and you don’t decide what she does to you. Of course, you need to discuss what you desire and expect from your chastity play. During chastity keyholding, both of you need to verbalize your fantasies and be comfortable with them.

Nothing should be done without consent from both of you! It’s imperative you establish a safeword for extreme or unforeseen situations. That said, some couples like it when a keyholder takes on a more dominant role and becomes a femdom goddess while the slave acts in extreme servitude.

Home Furniture

You and your cock in a chastity cage are her playthings, so why not become her property completely? Become her chair, so that she may sit on you while reading. Bend down on all fours and be her coffee table or turn into a stool on which she can rest her feet.

Be motionless and silent — you are furniture, and furniture doesn’t speak. When she’s smoking, be her ashtray. She doesn’t have a shoe rack? She can pile up her footwear on your face. Let her discover new practical uses for your body.

Extra Serving

Your domme might give you more delectable and challenging tasks to test your servitude. For example, do chores while wearing chains or degrading costumes. If her shoes need shining, your tongue and lips are the best means to make them spotless. You are no worthier than filth — that’s why she can walk all over you.

Since you are her thing, remember that things don’t require rest, food, and toilet time. Ask her for permission for all these. She holds the key to your relief, but she is the one who decides when you are permitted everyday freedoms. You are her slave — you can’t go around doing things of your own volition.

She can treat you however she likes, and she can call you however she wants. There is no name and insult too low for you. You take it and say, ‘yes, ma’am.’ You are her filthy, disgusting mule while she rides you to her bedroom. She can call you garbage, cockless, useless idiot if that is what you are.

Darling, the Guests Are Here

Her dominance might not be exclusive only to your home. You can even continue your play of servitude in public spaces. When you carry her things while shopping, she may treat you as her slave. She might send you specific orders during your work, and you had better do them.

Other people can get involved too! Strangers might watch you while you perform your tasks. Her dominance can continue even when your friends and family come to visit. She can give you orders and demands even when guests are there — having company doesn’t relieve you of your duties. Only your femdom goddess can give you relief.

Her Orgasmic Smile

Just because you are practicing chastity doesn’t mean your mistress should be denied pleasure. Your cock is confined, but she doesn’t need your penis to reach sexual bliss. The same way you are discovering new ways to please her in daily life, you should find ways to please her sexually. Her climax is in your hands, and wouldn’t you want to give it to her?

The most important thing to understand is that no two women are alike, so listen to her preferences and what she wants you to do. Be patient and be willing to adapt.


Firstly, get her into the mood. After a sensual massage or a foot rub, see whether your mistress’s libido has awakened. Don’t rush things, and be playful. Don’t get straight to the point.

Start by caressing her thighs, smoothly and slowly. Don’t be rough unless she orders you to be. Let the foreplay last as long as it takes. When her pussy gets wet and tumescent, then, your fingers can slide onto it, and after a while, your tongue. If she wants fingerplay only, don’t use your tongue. Sometimes, that’s enough.

Finger-Licking Good

When playing with her clitoris, use two fingers and make a circular motion, applying light pressure. Don’t change the rhythm abruptly, and be consistent. When using your mouth, don’t go for the tongue right away. Kiss her clitoris and pussy gently, and then, slightly use the tip of the tongue. Try various ways to lick her clit and see what’s most pleasurable for her, and then continue with it.

You shouldn’t overstimulate the clitoris with your tongue. Give it a break by sliding your tongue over her labia, or stick it into her hole. Don’t use only your tongue, but combine your lips, finger, and tongue techniques. Never, by any means, use your teeth.

Once her pussy is ready, lick your finger and gently slide it in. Thrust it in and continue with perpendicular motions or circular ones ever so slightly. All the while, you can play with her clit with your tongue, lips, or with your other hand.

After some time, you can insert your second finger and continue. Your mistress can decide whether she wants more fingers in her hole or even a whole fist. Then, simply continue until she feels satisfied.

Playing With Toys

You can also use various sex toys to gratify her. Be sure that she likes the toys, and is familiar with them. That way, you know they can service her and won’t cause her any discomfort. Be sure to prepare the toys first. When using dildoes, be sure they are clean and preheat them if the model allows. If you are using electrical ones, be sure they are fully charged.

Vibrating dildoes are excellent for clit stimulation. Just apply them gently to the clit with small pressure, and don’t move them. However, you need to be more playful with non-vibrating ones. Rub them over her clit using the aforementioned advice.

Dildoes are also fantastic for sliding into her pussy. Sometimes, just the tip is enough, but check how deep into her pussy she wants it to go. If you are not using your tongue while doing this, maybe suckling and stimulating her tits or her neck will be a better choice.

Check if your keyholder likes anal play. While you’re performing cunnilingus, you could slightly stimulate her anus with your fingers. If she allows, you can insert one finger up there. Also, she might like a little bit of analingus while you’re playing with her pussy. Depending on the position, she can even decide to sit on your face and grind her ass over your tongue. In that scenario, just be sure to stick out your tongue.

Let Her Rule

First-time subs need time to fully come to terms with the fact they have relinquished the ownership of their cock, and thus, they are not the ones who hold the reins. If you ever get tempted to remind or even nag your keyholder that you need to be released, don’t do it!

There Is No I With Your Keyholder

Your needs are no longer relevant, and she is the master of your relationship. That can be quite tantalizing for men who are used to being dominant in other areas of life. She is your new mentor who will teach you how to be a more attentive, more passionate, and thoughtful lover. Give up on your ego and reap prizes as time goes by.

She is the one who makes the decisions — for you, for your household, and for how you act outside of it. Let her organize your daily schedule. You can do house chores before work, tend to her needs when you return home, and pleasure her at night — and one night is such a long time when spent well!

If your cock is craving freedom and you find it insufferable, that is your problem. You can respectfully reveal your feelings to your keyholder, though it’s up to her whether she will acknowledge your strife. Don’t pester her, don’t constantly bother her with “I want,” and “I need.” What SHE wants and what SHE needs is the name of the game.

Your keyholder should also be the one who takes care of your finances. She can give you allowances and permission on what to spend it. However, before you make any larger purchases, she must approve first. And in case of your buying gifts for her, check whether she wants to be informed in advance or be surprised.

If you are a good boy, she gets to choose when and what your rewards will be, if any at all. If you are subpar for her expectations, she gets to pick your method of punishment. Don’t impose your opinions and urges onto her!

Don’t Push It

Your mistress might not always be playful and ready to deal with her caged toy. She might be tired or simply not in the mood for you and your caged cock. In these cases, don’t badger her or force yourself onto her.

Sometimes, she will only need peace and quiet, away from you. When she is frisky for the company of other people, you let her and ask no questions. If she orders you to be quiet when you’re meeting with friends, you don’t utter a word.

You just listen to her commands, obediently and without discussion. Your keyholder is the center of your world. You are there to respect her and adore her, as one twist of her key will culminate in such delights. She can make all the tantalizing wait worth it!